Sunday, November 1, 2009

12

hidden desire
implodes her awakening
bleeds nightfall



HN
11.01.09


[wingstroke]
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8 comments:

  1. KarenNovember 2, 2009 at 2:29 AM

    In poetry, and especially in a form like haiku, word choice is all. Using "implodes" here says everything in just that one word. Great imagery evoked by this.

    ReplyDelete
  2. MarieNovember 2, 2009 at 2:54 AM

    Dear Karen,

    Just the right word may take a while to
    come into my mind, however it is worth the wait.
    Thank you for noticing.

    M.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anders November 2, 2009 at 9:07 AM

    I do love poems using an unbending economy of language best. Your writing is delicate and confidential, while rigorous. I noticed that you like the harp. Have you ever listened to William Lawes "Harp Consorts"? A brilliant piece of harp at the crossroads of different things.

    ReplyDelete
  4. MarieNovember 2, 2009 at 1:48 PM

    Dear Ande,

    Your comment on my poetry is complete.
    That you would use the word rigorous lets me
    know how carefully you have read my work and
    how astute you are.
    I have not heard William Lawes "Harp Consorts" however my fingers will fly to punch
    in this information, and I will let you know
    how much I enjoyed "Harp Consorts".

    Thank you, Ande.

    M.

    ReplyDelete
  5. SheilaNovember 2, 2009 at 5:39 PM

    The three actions involved in this piece - hiding, imploding, bleeding - coming as they do at the start of each line, cast such a dark shadow over the two words that refer to the heroine's situation, her desire and her awakening, that I was immediately drawn in, concerned for her. It was like watching a film and knowing some net is closing around the female lead but being left completely in the dark about the nature of the threat. Whose desire? Hers or someone elses's? She's in a bad place, either way. Seven little words.

    ReplyDelete
  6. MarieNovember 2, 2009 at 7:54 PM

    Dear Mairi,

    Like watching a film, what a wonderful
    compliment. Very perceptive Mairi, the heroine
    is in danger. This haiku is informed by
    Nabokov's short story Wingstroke. It's gratifying
    to know the essence of danger is evident.

    Thank you, Mairi

    M.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Scott MacNeilNovember 11, 2009 at 11:09 PM

    Open heart
    excites her womanhood
    beckons coupling

    ReplyDelete
  8. MarieNovember 12, 2009 at 4:09 PM

    Excellent, FA.

    ReplyDelete

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